Couples often go to great lengths to bring the desire for sex and intimacy back to where it should be. A new study shows that even simple conversations can help.
The researchers followed more than 100 couples by having them fill out a diary for 6 weeks. The results showed that libido and desire for sex increased when partners felt listened to and understood outside of the bedroom.
“Responsiveness, which is a type of intimacy, is extremely important in a relationship. This is a signal that one partner is genuinely concerned about what the other wants and what is happening to him.
Among other things, important for sexual desire and intimacy between both partners is the feeling of being special and valuable to one’s partner.
When men and women feel that their partners are responsive and caring, they feel more special and are more likely to view each other as valuable and reliable partners. This, in turn, stimulates sexual desire.
Leading New York psychotherapist Sari Cooper gives advice on how to get back desire and sexual arousal in bed.
- Be varied and intimate.
Go on a date with your significant other or host a special dinner at home just for the two of you. You will be surprised by how invigorating it can be.
You can define at least 1 day a week to be alone and dedicate yourself to emotional and sensual pleasures. And most importantly, do it every week!
- Turn off phones
Looking at electronic devices during dinner or a meeting is not only rude but also demonstrates a lack of interest and attention to another person.
When talking with a partner, while eating, or even when you’re just in the same room, turn off your phone, tablet, and all gadgets. Talking, communicating and touching are fundamental to stable relationships and sexual desire between them.
- Share what turns you on
Share with your partner what you love and what turns you on. Most people, whether in a new relationship or in an old relationship, avoid talking about these things.
Knowing your partner and what makes him want sex or what he likes in bed is extremely important and helps the relationship.